All it Takes is All You've Got!

That was the phrase on the back of a tee shirt one of our STMs (Short Term Missionaries or volunteers) wore the first week.  I've spent a lot of time pondering that phrase this summer.  I've tried to encourage our STMs each week to give all they've got in service for both our families, one another and ultimately our Lord.  It's also been a challenge to me, and one of the reasons I haven't posted recently.  The spirit has been willing to do so, but my body has been dragging by the time I get to my room each night; a sign, I hope,  that I have given all I had that day.  Then there is the reality that everyone goes back to their room around the same time and the internet slows down.

Someone pointed out to me this week that the great thing about the phrase "All it takes is all you've got" is that we don't have to wonder if more is required.  If we give our all that's all it takes!

I have seen so many people giving their all this week, which is one of the reasons I so love Family Retreat.

Where else do you see a dance off of guys with autism, or hear an 8 year old with spina bifida tell the nurse she's his 18th fiancé and he will definitely marry a nurse?

Where else do you see a guy with spastic cp serving as the videographer as he tools around camp in his scooter wearing his video camera on his helmet?

Where else do you have a coffee house and sing karaoke with people who can't read the words or carry a tune but then get wildly and sincerely applauded and cheered?

Where else can you worship and have a little girl with autism run up on the stage and no one blinks an eye, or as the pastor begins to speak and she steps forward to talk into his mic?

Where else would three staff people give up a night of sleep to stay with an injured teen STM at the hospital until his mom could arrive the next morning?  (And thankfully he's out of the hospital now and on his way to healing).

Where else would a teen with Down Syndrome greet you and everyone who is within twenty feet in the moving ameba of a group hug?

Where else would a young woman who has limited verbal skills give our her "business cards" that tell of her love for the Lord and her name?  After seven years I was blessed this year to be welcomed into the fold as one of her friends!

Where else would you find a young woman who planned her upcoming wedding around Family Retreat schedule so she could be sure to serve this week just two weeks before getting married and moving away?

Where else would a young boy with sensory processing disorder have the opportunity to find out how cool wheelchairs are and wish he could have one?

Where else would a sister be able to say, "oh now I get it" about her brothers disability when she saw the way he responded to opportunities at camp?

Where else could a kid who can't talk and seems not to track well be right in the middle of a marshmallow catapult war?

If those of us in disability ministry had our way the answer to each of those questions would be - the church - of course!  But until that day when all are not only welcomed but embraced by the local church I am so thankful that I can live three weeks of my life in a community of families and STMs at Family Retreat who daily give their all and live real life together.

Face to Face for one year . . .

One year ago today, July 24,  mom's lifelong goal was fulfilled; she met Jesus face to face.  Even as a kid I remember hearing her play the piano and sing along to the old hymn, "Face to Face."

Face to face with Christ, my Savior,
Face to face, what will it be,
When with rapture I behold Him,
Jesus Christ Who died for me?

Refrain:
Face to face I shall behold Him,
Far beyond the starry sky;
Face to face in all His glory;
I shall see Him by and by!

Only faintly now I see Him,
With the darkened veil between,
But a bless'd day is coming,
When His glory shall be seen.

What rejoicing in His presence,
When are banished grief and pain;
When the crooked ways are straightened
And the dark things shall be plain.

Face to face, oh, blissful moment!
Face to face, to see and know;
Face to face with my Redeemer,
Jesus Christ Who loves me so.

One of the things that rings strongest in my memory of mom's view of heaven is that she was stedfast in knowing that the reason she was looking forward to heaven was Jesus!  While she knew that loved family members would be there as well her focus was not on seeing them - but first and foremost seeing her Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.   

Happy one year (in earthly time) Mom being with your Savior.  I am certain that it's even richer and fuller than you could have ever imagined.  I miss you and love you.  Thank you for the heritage you left me. 

Precious Memories

As many of you have thoughtfully remembered and shared kind words with me, this is the week when Mom passed last year.  I realized this week that I lived more years in the same home with her than I have lived without her; there were the 18 years growing up and then the 12 years she lived with Jerry and I after she became a widow.  At her memorial service I shared many memories.  In the year that she's been gone, here's what I have come to realize . . .

• I miss Mom more than I ever thought I would, and I miss her (and dad)most I think for my nieces, nephew and great nieces and nephew.  I think of how proud she would be to know Charis started her residency, or that Erica graduated with her BSN.  I think of the new great nieces/nephews to come who will never have the opportunity to have GG (Galavanting Grandma as she was known!) read them a story or crochet them a blanket.  
• Mom often thought we (Jerry and me) were too busy in our lives, and sometimes she was right.  In truth though, we slowed down more with her here.  We made it a point most evenings to share dinner together and then spend an hour after dinner with her over Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.  Now sometimes we aren't even getting home to eat dinner until long after that time.  I miss the intentionality of slowing down to sit with her.
• I am enjoying a "direct connect" with my sister.  Yes, we always had that opportunity but too often connected through Mom.  I am glad for the times Ginny and I get to talk and spend time together as we learn our new way.
• Mom helped Jerry and me a lot more than I gave her credit for.  I tried to be conscious of her assistance and thank her, but knowing what I know now - I took a lot for granted.  Even after a year I am still trying to get the rhythm of how to work full time, exercise, have a Quiet Time, grocery shop, cook, clean house, do laundry, spend time with my husband and assist him with his care needs, cultivate friendships, and on and on and on (not necessary in the order listed).   Oh and did I mention sleep?

Most of all I've come to realize again how absolutely positively blessed I am to have been born to Bill & Betty Morris, to gain from their Godly heritage, to come to my career (and husband!) because they first instilled in me a love for people affected by disability.  I would not trade the three weeks we got to serve and minister to Mom through hospice for anything.  What precious memories I have from those times with Mom, and for our family and friends to be together.  Yes there will still be times of grief, pain and loss, but more and more there are times of remembering, being grateful and finding joy in this journey.

Whatever . . .

There was a period of time in our culture when the word "whatever" was used frequently, almost with a sense of exasperation - sort of like, "I don't really believe you or accept what you are saying/doing but it's not worth my time and effort to interact, so instead I'll just say 'whatever' and move on."

I don't think that is at all the frae of reference Paul had when he penned these verses under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Col 3:17

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.  Col 3:23

I think Colossians 3:17 was the favorite verse of the minister we had growing up - Dr Allen.  I feel like I heard that verse and over from him from the time I was little.  A good foundation to build upon.

Somehow though in all the times I read and heard these verses I seemed to equate these to daily functions and activities.  For example - do my paid employment with full zeal because I am doing it for God.  Sometimes I even could attribute it to the work I do to maintain my home, or what I do when I am on a missions trip, or even when interacting with others.  Though the verses say "whatever" leaving a pretty wide open field and 3:17 includes word or deed these always became specific tangible deed based verses as it were to me.

This week when I read them my mind went to one of my besetting sins.  It is an area I have worked on from time to time over the years, sometimes more successfully than others.  Sometimes when engaged in this area of spiritual battle I feel armed and ready and sometimes I just give up and say "I can't."  I was suddenly struck that even in a battle within my heart or mind, that's a "whatever."  Maybe even more so than with a tangible deed I need to fight that battle with all my heart and go forth in the name of the Lord Jesus.

This changes the whole tone of "Whatever!"  Instead of hearing it as an apathetic response, it's a forceful reminder  - EVERYTHING I DO, THINK, BE, even that which no one sees, and maybe internal only, I want to do in the name of the Lord Jesus and for HIM!

Making the Most of Every Opportunity

Today is the final day of vacation; the one that turned out much differently than we had planned or anticipated.  Bottom line - I am glad we had the time together.  Some days were more restful than our original plans would have allowed, others not so much.  I am very grateful that for the last 36 hours Jerry's temperature has broken and he does seem to be on the mend from this nasty infection.  Just to be sure he'll stay on the antibiotic 20 more days!

I've asked God the why -why did we need to drive to Cleveland to stay holed up in a hotel for 48 hours and drive home again?  We didn't see anyone we went to see, we didn't take in any baseball or even play a game of cards in the room.  I could see value in the trip if we got to share Christ with someone along the way, but that didn't happen either.  I did however get to minister to my husband with no distractions.  As is often the case with our Heavenly Father - He has not chosen to let us know the "why" - but has reminded us how much He loves us and His plans for us are good.  So we trust . . .

Reminds me of another Colossians verse I read this week; chapter 4 verse 5b - "Make the most of every opportunity."  That has been a steady challenge and prayer reminder for me this week.  Am I making the most of EVERY OPPORTUNITY?  Staycation, back to the office, next week at Family Retreat or wherever You may lead me for whatever reason . . .Lord Jesus let me redeem every moment for you!

This picture reminds me of making the most of every opportunity.
When the kids came to visit my mom in her last weeks we relived
memories our grandparents made with us - a china tea party.

Wardrobe Malfunctions

If you know me at all, you know that keeping fashionable or stylish in clothing is not my thing.  I am certain that some of the choices I make in clothing could bring some embarrassment to those seen with me.  But I am writing today to confess my biggest wardrobe malfunction ever, and sadly one I repeat.  It was pointed out to me in Colossians 3 this week.  There I am told that as a dearly loved, chosen and holy daughter of the King that I am to be clothed with:

• compassion
• kindness
• humility
• gentleness
• patience
• bearing with others
• forgiveness - of others, even as God forgave me
• And the browning glory - I am to be adorned with LOVE, which creates unity.

In case I have that all in line (!) the writer gives me a few accessories to include:

• peace- letting the peace of Christ RULE in my heart ("let it rule" - sounds like I don't have to ask for peace - I just need to respond!)
• thankfulness
• absorption in the Word of God. 

While I still don't expect to spend any more time pulling together the wardrobe in my closet, I think it's time to invest a little more time in updating my spiritual wardrobe!

Set . .

So here we are on day five of our "medi-cation."  That's the term I've coined for this experience.  It started out as a vacation and due to medical concerns we headed home and are"staycationing" while we work through medical appointments.

I don't really know anyone who likes to wait, and certainly Jerry and I don't.  We have our times of waiting confidently for medical answers, and times of anxiety and fear.  This morning when I sat down in my favorite chair with my cup of coffee and yogurt I opened my Bible to Colossians 3; which is where I had left out in my last reading.  I expected to read through the chapter but never got past the first two verses.

"Since them you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on thing above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.  Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

One of my challenges in reading Scripture is not to gloss over verses that are pretty familiar to me.  These verses, while certainly familiar jumped at me this morning - especially the word "set."

It seems to me that set means I need to make a deliberate calculated action to put my heart and mind on things above; this does not happen naturally.  I think it also means I need to continually be recalculating (like a GPS) to keep my heart and mind SET on things above, not fear, anxiety, etc.

It's interesting to me too that God through Paul tells me to set BOTH my heart and mind on things above.  Set my heart - my affections, my desires, my loves.  Set my mind - what I think about, how I think and process information.

Regardless of what results from this "medi-cation"; setting my heart and mind on things above makes this a winning time off!

Working it out . . .

We're home, a week earlier than planned.  We drove through some really torrential rains.  We went through two different periods of about 40 miles total when the rain was so hard and fast we couldn't even see the front of our van.   I am so very grateful for God's hand of protection.  I didn't want to be foolish driving but knew I had to get Jerry home.  

Earlier in the trip I had thought that we needed a good rain to clean the windshield which was pretty splattered with spots from bugs, road dirt, etc.  These were markings that did not come off with the wipers.  I had anticipated that a good hard rain would leave the windshield almost sparkling clean!  

To my surprise after the rain some of the larger stubborn spots were still there (though it must have seemed clean from the outside as somewhere over central PA a bird met it's demise when it crashed into the windshield at full speed and left a few feathers behind as it slid off).  

In my pondering my thoughts went to my life when Jesus washed my spots (sin) away with his blood.  (Let me assure you that this is not a systematic theology statement - I know the illustration does not fit fully- but still makes a point I needed to remember).  When Jesus gave His life for my sins on the cross and I said yes to that amazing gift of love - I was washed clean.  When God looks at me He doesn't see those lingering spots - He sees the cleansing blood of His Son.  When I look from my perspective I see those spots/sins that still mar my life.  While I've been forgiven it still takes some work on my part - some focused "scrubbing' if you will to remove those stubborn sins that have deep roots in my life.  

Philippains 2:12 " . . . continue to work out your salvation with dear and trembling."  

Happy 284 +1

Jerry and I have this tradition of celebrating our "month-a-veraries".  We were married on the 11th of November so we have a bit of a contest to see who can wish the other "Happy Month-A-Versary" on the 11th of each month.  The one who "wins" gloats and the "looser" does what any good Borton does - pouts (all in fun) that we were beaten at our own game!  And yes, we've been known to set alarms for midnight, or force ourselves to stay awake, or whatever other way we can find to assure we get to wish the other first!

Well yesterday was our 284th Month-A-Versary (and for the record I "won" - though overall we're about equal in this game!).  In our early years of marriage we would re-read our wedding vows to one another on the 11th - it was a great reminder of what we committed to on that day that is so overwhelming it is hard to remember what we said or did!  Over the years we re-recite them less often - but hopefully are living them out more regularly.  We'll have to re-visit that idea.

As I was trying to fall asleep last night next to my husband who was really feeling miserable with this infection and fever I thought "Well Happy Month-A-Versary to me; this is a fun start to vacation."  Thankfully I did not wallow long, but did recall that in our vows we committed to do life together - while we didn't say these exact words it was for the "better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health."  Well how much more of real life could we get on this 284th month?

It made me think of the many times someone who has met us tells me "how lucky" Jerry is to have me, or what an amazing person I am to marry someone who has a disability.  Seriously?  I have to admit that in my flesh I am sometimes tempted to agree with them, but usually I respond to them something like, "you think you see what I do for Jerry; you have no idea what he does for me.  I am the lucky and blessed one!"  Physical assistance and care is one thing, and yes it is a big one thing, and honestly can get wearing and tiring.  But - the emotional, spiritual and mental support Jerry provides me is far greater and has made me a better person on oh so many levels!  J

Early on in our relationship I penned the Top Ten Reasons to Marry a Guy in a Wheelchair.  In honor to our 284+1 I share it with you!

10. You don’t have to stand on tiptoes to style his hair!

 9. You get great parking spot

 8.   You have lots of fun gadgets to “play with” and exercise creativity as you learn to repair them!

 7.    Sometimes you get to fly first class for the price of coach!

6.   Shopping is easier when you can hang the bags on his chair!

5.   The back of his clothing does not need repair or ironing!

4.  He provides you with free strengthening and aerobic training!

3.   There are lots of places at home to hide things from him!

2.   The toilet seat is always down!

1.       He is created in the image of God to be my wonderful protector, encourager, comforter, lover and friend!

        Written by:  Joan Borton

Hello from Cleveland . . .

Here we are on our first night of vacation and my beloved is snuggled under extra blankets trying to sweat out a fever and get rid of an infection.  Yes - we sure know how to live it up on vacation!  We're praying that when he wakes up in the morning God will have used the 24 hours of antibiotic and a good night's rest so he'll feel better . . . after all we have baseball games to see, friends and family to catch up with and time to enjoy being together!

I've always been a fan of driving trips (though I also enjoy flying training and cruising!).  Typically I attribute my preference for driving to my need to be in control (I know that's a shocker statement for some of you to hear!). But today I think I realized it is more than control.  Driving is a great time for me to ponder (in case you haven't noticed I am a fan of that word!).  Most of my days are packed so full of interaction with others and hurrying and scurrying from one task to another, or doing several at once.  Recently I've even taken to turning off the radio and just enjoying quiet while I drive.  It gives me time to observe the beauty of creation, see patterns in the clouds, enjoy the nature and use each of those to kickstart some thinking and praying. 

Reminds me of the quote I read this week from Ann Voskamp -  "It happens when we rest - that we relinquish our ambitions to be like God."

Now there's a statement that deserves some pondering; especially on a week of vacation. Rest , , , something I am too quick to say I can't do; or don't have time to rest. But maybe that goes back to my control thing, I don't really think I want to be God, but I just know He has His hands pretty full and somehow figure that if I can take a few things off His hands, he'll appreciate it. Oh how foolish of me. Through release and rest I can let God be God and marvel and ponder on His greatness. So here's to a week of rest, and letting go of my God complex. Cover me - in prayer - this doesn't come easy to me!