Going Home Again

Years ago a friend told us he had reached the "Didn't Used to Be There" age.  That's what his kids labeled it after they grew tired of hearing him say, "Well, that didn't used to be there" as he drove around his home area.

Saturday I had the opportunity to go "home" due to the need to tend to some family business.  Though only an hour from where we live now, I don't get back to the area as often as I would like to see friends and family.  I try to appreciate each opportunity, no matter how brief.

Yes, I do experience the "I remember when" and "that didn't used to be there" thoughts as I drive around Mercer County.  Even more,  it seems that I am confronted with how I thought things used to be; only to see things in a different light, and not just like I remembered.

For example,  growing up I remember our yard (shared with my Grandmother who lived next door)  as HUGE (together it was about an acre), and always perceived our end of the street being the "nice end" (my apologies to any from the other end of the street who may trip across this!).  Now when I go "home" it seems that everything is so compact, and the other end of Diverty Road seems more together than "our end" sometimes.  The yard that seemed so immense is still nice, but not as enormous as my childhood memories make it.  The stretch of Reed Road that I would take to get to Diverty Road seemed much longer then, and I always felt like our street was almost highlighted in flashing lights (not really) because it was so amazing to turn on to it and be "home".  Now it almost seems easy to miss if I am not watching carefully.

As I drive Diverty Road I recall the kickball games we had, the time my shoe and foot got stuck in the Shaw's gutter; swimming at the Elliots, waiting for the bus with Eleanor, visiting Mrs Bakay, the snow ramps we built in our back yard, my Dad's huge garden, making home made ice cream each summer, picking apples from Grandmom's tree,  the swing that hung from the tree that is now gone., the playhouse Dad built . . and so much more.

Today, tomorrow, this month are  the "good ol' days" that we'll look back on sometime.  I wonder what it would be like to come back to Souderton, where I live now (and for the last 16 years) and see how my perceptions of now and then differ.

How I Spent My Day Off (an homage to kids who will soon be asked to write "What I did on my Summer Vacation!"

Not that you asked about my day, but since you are reading this perhaps you would be interested . . .

I had the day (mostly) off work today and it was packed full of errands.  Two of which involved taxing authorities . . .  yes the local tax authority thought they found a mistake in our 2011 return and asked us for more money.  We sent the letter today reminding them of the tax law and why we don't owe that money . . .  who do you think will be victorious?

I also got to stop by our local state representative's office and solicit their help to release our current state tax refund.  The dear Commonwealth of Pennsylvania asked us to resupply some information (that they clearly already had - but this was a good stall tactic on their part so they can keep earning interest off our money).  We supplied the requested information right away.  Every time I've checked  on the status on line I get the message, "We have received your documentation; please allow 8-10 weeks from today for a response."  That's smooth - any day we look at it the clock starts over with 8-10 weeks from "today" - not the day it was received.  Thankfully our representative has a phone number to a direct connect person at the Dept of Revenue.  She was told that yes they had received our information but it had not been sent for review yet.  Nice - so for 8 weeks it's been sitting there gathering dust.  The kind agent on the phone said she would send it in today for review with a note that the Representative's office will call back in a week for a status update.  Here's hopping we'll be 2 for 2 with both of these taxing situations!

Another part of my day involved taking Jerry's van into the shop for service on the lift and the air bag warning.  If you are not intimately familiar with life with disability you may not know that there are a limited number of shops who do this type of work, and we really are a "captive audience of consumers".  In years past we always purchased our vans and service from a location within our county.  We didn't like going there, but our options were limited.  Service calls ALWAYS involved a full day and sometimes the problem would still not  be fixed and bills were outrageous.  Sometime in the last 18 months we began to use a location of the same company that is in a different county and about 5 miles further away.  Every time we've visited this new location, our experience is completely opposite.  Today the repair was done in 40 minutes and we were only charged for 30 minutes of labor and $2 in parts.  Incredible!  When the tech came out and said he was done I commented, "I don't understand how you can be owned by the same company as the N____ location, yet there is a night and day difference in customer service."  He had no response.

As I was driving home and thinking about that, I got to thinking that's a lot like Christians and Churches.  We all have the same "owner/manager" - God!  Yet the way we interpret and live out what He has told us varies widely.  Please Lord God let me be more like the B_______ office in living and carrying out the instructions You've laid out for me.

A Blessing of Horseradish

The day after . . . . and another year of Family Retreat is now in the memory books (and my tired body!) and the hundreds of photos and videos floating around Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.  Three wonderful weeks, each very different, yet very full of HOPE OVERFLOWING!

I told Jerry that I wanted to go out for dinner tonight; to a place where someone took my order, delivered my food and then cleaned up after us.  So off we went to Outback.  After perusing the menu I decided that Prime Rib was what I wanted; and told the waiter that I definitely wanted the horseradish with it.  This is one of the ways in which it is clear that I am Bill Morris' daughter - Prime Rib is simply a vehicle for consuming horseradish.

Jerry and I enjoyed chatting and catching up (we really see each other very little at Family Retreat, and when we do we don't get to really talk much) as we ate our salad.  Then the waiter brought our main course.  As he set my plate before me he apologized that they had run out of horseradish - both the full strength and the sauce.  I politely told him that he could take the meal back then, I really didn't want it without horseradish.  He apologized and brought me the menu to make another choice and also mentioned the manager was going to stop by.

The manager apologized and asked what he could do to make it right.  I told him it was ok and I'd order something else.  He asked if I was willing to wait a few minutes while he ran across the street to the grocery store (if they were still open) to get horseradish.  We were surprised at this offer.  Shortly thereafter he came back and said that they had to go to 2 grocery stores, but they got horseradish for me!  The chef then cut us each a new piece of meat (Jerry's meal went back too so we could eat together) and brought it to me with fresh and very hot horseradish!

All week at Family Retreat we talk about doing whatever it takes to serve our families.  What a sweet blessing it was to have someone else do that for me at the restaurant.  Who knew that a restaurant manager and a jar of horseradish could be a hug from God!

All it Takes is All You've Got!

That was the phrase on the back of a tee shirt one of our STMs (Short Term Missionaries or volunteers) wore the first week.  I've spent a lot of time pondering that phrase this summer.  I've tried to encourage our STMs each week to give all they've got in service for both our families, one another and ultimately our Lord.  It's also been a challenge to me, and one of the reasons I haven't posted recently.  The spirit has been willing to do so, but my body has been dragging by the time I get to my room each night; a sign, I hope,  that I have given all I had that day.  Then there is the reality that everyone goes back to their room around the same time and the internet slows down.

Someone pointed out to me this week that the great thing about the phrase "All it takes is all you've got" is that we don't have to wonder if more is required.  If we give our all that's all it takes!

I have seen so many people giving their all this week, which is one of the reasons I so love Family Retreat.

Where else do you see a dance off of guys with autism, or hear an 8 year old with spina bifida tell the nurse she's his 18th fiancé and he will definitely marry a nurse?

Where else do you see a guy with spastic cp serving as the videographer as he tools around camp in his scooter wearing his video camera on his helmet?

Where else do you have a coffee house and sing karaoke with people who can't read the words or carry a tune but then get wildly and sincerely applauded and cheered?

Where else can you worship and have a little girl with autism run up on the stage and no one blinks an eye, or as the pastor begins to speak and she steps forward to talk into his mic?

Where else would three staff people give up a night of sleep to stay with an injured teen STM at the hospital until his mom could arrive the next morning?  (And thankfully he's out of the hospital now and on his way to healing).

Where else would a teen with Down Syndrome greet you and everyone who is within twenty feet in the moving ameba of a group hug?

Where else would a young woman who has limited verbal skills give our her "business cards" that tell of her love for the Lord and her name?  After seven years I was blessed this year to be welcomed into the fold as one of her friends!

Where else would you find a young woman who planned her upcoming wedding around Family Retreat schedule so she could be sure to serve this week just two weeks before getting married and moving away?

Where else would a young boy with sensory processing disorder have the opportunity to find out how cool wheelchairs are and wish he could have one?

Where else would a sister be able to say, "oh now I get it" about her brothers disability when she saw the way he responded to opportunities at camp?

Where else could a kid who can't talk and seems not to track well be right in the middle of a marshmallow catapult war?

If those of us in disability ministry had our way the answer to each of those questions would be - the church - of course!  But until that day when all are not only welcomed but embraced by the local church I am so thankful that I can live three weeks of my life in a community of families and STMs at Family Retreat who daily give their all and live real life together.

Face to Face for one year . . .

One year ago today, July 24,  mom's lifelong goal was fulfilled; she met Jesus face to face.  Even as a kid I remember hearing her play the piano and sing along to the old hymn, "Face to Face."

Face to face with Christ, my Savior,
Face to face, what will it be,
When with rapture I behold Him,
Jesus Christ Who died for me?

Refrain:
Face to face I shall behold Him,
Far beyond the starry sky;
Face to face in all His glory;
I shall see Him by and by!

Only faintly now I see Him,
With the darkened veil between,
But a bless'd day is coming,
When His glory shall be seen.

What rejoicing in His presence,
When are banished grief and pain;
When the crooked ways are straightened
And the dark things shall be plain.

Face to face, oh, blissful moment!
Face to face, to see and know;
Face to face with my Redeemer,
Jesus Christ Who loves me so.

One of the things that rings strongest in my memory of mom's view of heaven is that she was stedfast in knowing that the reason she was looking forward to heaven was Jesus!  While she knew that loved family members would be there as well her focus was not on seeing them - but first and foremost seeing her Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.   

Happy one year (in earthly time) Mom being with your Savior.  I am certain that it's even richer and fuller than you could have ever imagined.  I miss you and love you.  Thank you for the heritage you left me. 

Precious Memories

As many of you have thoughtfully remembered and shared kind words with me, this is the week when Mom passed last year.  I realized this week that I lived more years in the same home with her than I have lived without her; there were the 18 years growing up and then the 12 years she lived with Jerry and I after she became a widow.  At her memorial service I shared many memories.  In the year that she's been gone, here's what I have come to realize . . .

• I miss Mom more than I ever thought I would, and I miss her (and dad)most I think for my nieces, nephew and great nieces and nephew.  I think of how proud she would be to know Charis started her residency, or that Erica graduated with her BSN.  I think of the new great nieces/nephews to come who will never have the opportunity to have GG (Galavanting Grandma as she was known!) read them a story or crochet them a blanket.  
• Mom often thought we (Jerry and me) were too busy in our lives, and sometimes she was right.  In truth though, we slowed down more with her here.  We made it a point most evenings to share dinner together and then spend an hour after dinner with her over Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune.  Now sometimes we aren't even getting home to eat dinner until long after that time.  I miss the intentionality of slowing down to sit with her.
• I am enjoying a "direct connect" with my sister.  Yes, we always had that opportunity but too often connected through Mom.  I am glad for the times Ginny and I get to talk and spend time together as we learn our new way.
• Mom helped Jerry and me a lot more than I gave her credit for.  I tried to be conscious of her assistance and thank her, but knowing what I know now - I took a lot for granted.  Even after a year I am still trying to get the rhythm of how to work full time, exercise, have a Quiet Time, grocery shop, cook, clean house, do laundry, spend time with my husband and assist him with his care needs, cultivate friendships, and on and on and on (not necessary in the order listed).   Oh and did I mention sleep?

Most of all I've come to realize again how absolutely positively blessed I am to have been born to Bill & Betty Morris, to gain from their Godly heritage, to come to my career (and husband!) because they first instilled in me a love for people affected by disability.  I would not trade the three weeks we got to serve and minister to Mom through hospice for anything.  What precious memories I have from those times with Mom, and for our family and friends to be together.  Yes there will still be times of grief, pain and loss, but more and more there are times of remembering, being grateful and finding joy in this journey.

Whatever . . .

There was a period of time in our culture when the word "whatever" was used frequently, almost with a sense of exasperation - sort of like, "I don't really believe you or accept what you are saying/doing but it's not worth my time and effort to interact, so instead I'll just say 'whatever' and move on."

I don't think that is at all the frae of reference Paul had when he penned these verses under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Col 3:17

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.  Col 3:23

I think Colossians 3:17 was the favorite verse of the minister we had growing up - Dr Allen.  I feel like I heard that verse and over from him from the time I was little.  A good foundation to build upon.

Somehow though in all the times I read and heard these verses I seemed to equate these to daily functions and activities.  For example - do my paid employment with full zeal because I am doing it for God.  Sometimes I even could attribute it to the work I do to maintain my home, or what I do when I am on a missions trip, or even when interacting with others.  Though the verses say "whatever" leaving a pretty wide open field and 3:17 includes word or deed these always became specific tangible deed based verses as it were to me.

This week when I read them my mind went to one of my besetting sins.  It is an area I have worked on from time to time over the years, sometimes more successfully than others.  Sometimes when engaged in this area of spiritual battle I feel armed and ready and sometimes I just give up and say "I can't."  I was suddenly struck that even in a battle within my heart or mind, that's a "whatever."  Maybe even more so than with a tangible deed I need to fight that battle with all my heart and go forth in the name of the Lord Jesus.

This changes the whole tone of "Whatever!"  Instead of hearing it as an apathetic response, it's a forceful reminder  - EVERYTHING I DO, THINK, BE, even that which no one sees, and maybe internal only, I want to do in the name of the Lord Jesus and for HIM!