The Burden of my Purse

My purse . . . yes it's big, and usually heavy.  I think it comes from years of managing group homes and carrying "everything for everybody" when we traveled; or maybe that is just a convenient excuse.  Regardless, it is often a point of conversation with people I meet (especially my massage therapist and chiropractor - ha!).  And frankly, I get tired of carrying it.  So when I am out with Jerry I usually ask if I can put my purse on the back of his chair for him to carry.  And typically he responds with "as long as it matches my outfit!"

Besides giving my shoulder a bit of relief, it also makes it easier for Jerry and I to hold hands when we walk.  (Yes we are coming up on our 20th anniversary and still holding hands!)  You see, his right hand is on his wheelchair controls so only his left hand is available to hold while walking.  I typically carry my purse on my right shoulder, which then means it is banging into his arm, or sliding off mine while walking and hand holding. 

Now I am not asking for sympathy.  I share that with you to show you how God used that as a very practical spiritual application in my life recently.  

I was reading in Psalm 68.  Verse 19 says, "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior who daily bears our burdens."  The devotional writer expounded on this by talking about how sometimes we let our burdens pile up and block our access to God.  She reminded how God WANTS to bear our burdens, and in exchange offers us mercy.  When I cast my burdens on God I draw closer to Him.  

I asked God to help me grasp this in such a way that I would not forget this lesson.  That's when He reminded me of the purse and walking with Jerry.  Whether it matches his outfit or not, Jerry is always willing to carry my purse for me.  He doesn't even realize that he is carrying any extra weight - it's not a big deal to him.  I am the one who benefits.  I am freed from the burden of a heavy awkward purse, and I get to draw closer to my husband, and connect with him again by holding hands.  

I pray that every time I hook my purse on his chair I will be  reminded to shift my burdens to the Lord and draw nearer to Him as well.

It's All About the Eggs (Not!)

Yesterday was our (Joni and Friends Greater Philadelphia and Rockhill Mennonite Church) Easter Egg Hunt.  If not the slowest Easter Egg Hunt in history, it has to be in the top 10.  I absolutely LOVE this day.

I think it was about 10 or 12 years ago when one of our friends came to us and said that her kids with disabilities couldn't participate in the typical community easter egg hints with their older sisters because the kids just moved too fast, and it was more frustrating than fun.  She asked if we could do something different.  I had just read about a group in Texas that did a special needs Easter Egg Hunt.  So I contacted them and asked the mom to ask her church if they would like to partner with us on the is venture and they did - and the first Easter Egg Hunt for kids with disabilities (at least in our area) began.

I think that first year we had about 10 kids and 5 volunteers and probably put out about 100 eggs.  We had vehicles parked around the church parking lot with eggs on running boards, fenders, etc. so kids could reach them.  I remember one young man brought his grabbers to reach the eggs and shared it with others too.  What a difference - working together and helping each other get eggs rather than running the slow people over and rushing to get as many eggs as possible!

Over the years the hunt grew, and we outgrew the church.  Some of my favorite memories from those early years:

• the two families who met for the first time and realized they had no family or plans for the next day - Easter.  They joined forces, shared Easter Day and dinner together and became fast friends from that day forward.
• the boy scouts who helped (always motivated by a case of Yoohoo!) and if kids couldn't pick up eggs the scouts would, or would even go around with "extra eggs" and deliver to those who couldn't get to any eggs on their own!
• the family who pulled in just about the time we were wrapping up.  It was their first year coming, and the variables of their two children with autism made it difficult to get out of the house on time.  They were so sad that they arrived too late.  As a couple of us talked with them at the car others went downstairs in the churn and put together two baskets from "extras" found and delivered them through the car windows.  That was our one and only "drive through" easter egg hunt.  

Yesterday we had about 75-80 families, and about 250 people all told.  The event now runs about 2 hours.  Knowing the challenges of families with disability getting places "on time" the first hour is filled with visits with the Easter Bunny, carnival type games, face painting, swings, ball pits, parachutes, etc.  There's always a quiet room for those who can't deal with all the stimulation.  Families come in as they are able to get there.    We then move to the auditorium so "the Easter Bunny can clean up and hide the eggs!" and have a period of entertainment with a purpose (yesterday it was magician Troydini; other years we've done music, stories, puppet shows, etc.).  We give away a few door prizes and then release the anxious kids (of ALL ages) to get their eggs.  

First the kids with mobility needs go first - then once they are on their way the others are dismissed.  Talking about eggs being "hidden" is not really accurate.  We put out about 5000 eggs (filled by scores of volunteers!) in plain sight (leaving wheelchair pathways) at a variety of heights.  Some may be a little harder to find and get - but no one leaves without an abundance of treats and toys.  

Some of my favorite memories from recent years:

• the many new families we are getting to meet since we moved to a larger venue
• the abundance of volunteers - both wanting to donate candy, fill eggs and help that day
• the way parents enjoy their time there - not just watching their kids, but connecting with other families, and encouraging one another
• the mom who drove nearly 3 hours with her 3 sons on the autism spectrum because it was closest Easter Egg Hunt she could find in which her kids could participate 
• the smiles - that go from ear to ear on kids as they hug the Easter Bunny, or get their face painted
• the family who came this year, but couldn't stay the entire time, but said it was ok because grandmom just wanted her daughter to see she didn't have to walk this road alone, that there is community within disability.  

Really my favorite part - the reality and picture of what Easter is really about . . . we come with nothing (empty bags, baskets and lives) to the One who gave His very life for us in an act of forgiveness and rose again so we could live redeemed lives full of abundance and blessing because of Jesus' free gift to us!

On grace and mercy with a little bit of justice and humility!

My mind has been tossing around the age old question of which came first - not in regards to the chicken or the egg; but rather in terms of grace and mercy and how they interface.

Grace is something I hear and talk about often.  In fact, in our home two statements often heard are,"Grace, it's a wonderful concept - I really hope it catches on some day!" The other is posted on our wall.

Grace is certainly a good thing to make part of our life.  After all who does not want to receive something we don't deserve (in a good way)?   That is what grace is - extending to others, and even ourselves, forgiveness, love, kindness, hope, a helping hand, etc. that is not deserved. 

I've been the recipient of grace when I snap at someone trying to help me on the phone, yet the person on the other end still interacts with me in a kind and gentle manner.  I've experienced grace often from my husband when I gripe and complain and he listens and replies to what I really need, not what I just dumped on him!   Grace is bestowed upon me by the person with whom  I am very delayed in responding to their email or call, or I arrive late for a meeting and they make time for me as if nothing ever stood in the way.

Recently Micah 6:8 has been showing up in my life over and over again.  "He has shown you o man what it good, and what does the Lord require of you?  To act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

I know this is not the only passage where God tells us what He expects of us.  But  I've found it curious that in this verse we aren't told to love and seek grace, but mercy.  

Mercy- sort of an opposite, yet complimentary act to grace.  Mercy is not getting what we deserve.  Examples in my life of mercy . . .  well first and foremost is the mercy I receive from God - that He does not make me pay the ultimate penalty (death) for my sin, but forgives me through the gift of His Son (that's the grace part).    On a human level, mercy abounds toward me when I exceed the speed limit, or turn right on red when the sign says it is not allowed and I do not receive a citation.

So I've been wrestling with the thought - if God tells us to love mercy, why is that in the Christian community I hear way more messages and thoughts about grace than I do about mercy?  

So far I've come up with a couple of possible answers:

1)  Grace seems easier  to talk about and perhaps even to extend.  We want to be on the receiving end of good, and we may even feel better about ourselves when we get blessings that we do not deserve.  

2)  Grace may be a bit easier to extend than mercy.  We want people to think of us as gracious giving people.  To extend mercy it is often more about our own heart attitude, and not what we do for others to see.  We have to be willing to forgive, forget or move forward to not unload on someone what (we think) they deserve.  Mercy means we let go and trust God.  

Could it be that if we really lived out Micah 6:8 by acting justly, loving mercy and walking humbly with God that we would automatically live lives both filled and overflowing with grace, not to mention the fruits of the spirit?

What do you think?  I know my ponderings may need some tweaking - I'd love to hear your thoughts.  What is easier for you to practice or to receive - grace or mercy?  How can we encourage each other to live out Micah 6:8?

Reflections on Disability and Vegas Part 2

Note:  If you have not yet read part 1 of this post, you can read it here.

In my last post I shared a couple of my ponderings about the Global Access Conference we attended last week.  There is so much more that I could say about that, but maybe another day.  For now I want to reflect a bit on our departure.  

We certainly enjoyed the warmth and sunshine of being near LA.  But alas, Saturday we needed to head home.  We had purposely booked a bit later flight out of LA because it transferred through Las Vegas, and we thought we'd have a better likelihood of making the connection in winter than transferring through Denver or Chicago.  

That theory worked until the one storm of the winter that was predicted to hit Philadelphia, really did hit - the afternoon and evening we were to land.  While still in LA we learned that our flight from Las Vegas to Philly had been cancelled.

As we talked with the airline agent who looked up many options for us to travel to other eastern locations from where we could drive home, there were just no available flights until Tuesday (and that was Saturday!).  We had to make a quick decision whether to stay those three days in LA or take our first leg of the trip to Las Vegas and stay there.  Since we had just turned in our rental vehicles, and really weren't keen on staying in LA the weekend of the Academy Awards - we opted for Las Vegas (where we also thought we could get more reasonably priced lodging and meals).  

While at the airport and in the air we began searching for lodging options and found rooms at a casino that was not right in the middle of everything.  So here we are.  
A team of 7 who just left this amazing impactful Global Access conference now trying to adjust our heads to the idea that we weren't going to be home and back to work, school and our churches for several days, and trying to figure out what God had for us here. 

Our thoughts ranged from who are we to minister to here, to maybe we just need this time to rest, soak up some sun and refortify for the week ahead at home (which for each of us is overpacked!).  We recalled that Nick, one of the Global Access speakers encouraged us to "widen our footprint" as ministers of the Gospel.  Is this why You brought us to "Sin City" God?

We've done a lot of resting, debriefing, walking, and praying here.  The first night as we were considering what to do for church on Sunday Jerry noticed that Nick, the speaker referenced above would be here in Las Vegas next weekend.  One thing we could do (and have done) is pray for fertile soil for Nick's message.  

The most persistent thought as we all observe, ponder and chat is "we don't belong here."  If you are one who enjoys vacationing or visiting in in Vegas please know this is not a judgment on you, but simply our observations.  

• Coming from Global Access - characterized by genuine love and acceptance of everyone and filled with the glory of our God to a place where physical beauty and strength is idolized, sold and equated with love feels so very sad and dark.
• We feel compelled to pray for the people of this city - that they will come to know and understand where their value and worth comes from - their Creator!
• We pray for the pastors, missionaries and churches who are serving here.
• We see children - even babies - here with parents.  Yes there are laws that say only those over age 21 can enter the casino, but trust me they are here.  How can you bring a sleeping child in to a smoke filled dark room full of overstimulating noise and colors?

We have had many wonderful conversations among ourselves and in our worship time together.  Hopefully we'll remember some of these lessons when we still get home.

I am a child of the King, but not this Kingdom!

1)  I haven't really done  good job unpacking and organizing our room and am having a hard time finding things.  I think it's because I realize this location is not where I belong and is not home.  In reality my true home and where I belong is not in Souderton either.  I am a citizen of the Kingdom of God, and my heart yearns for my heavenly home.

2)  Though the sin seems so much more obvious here, the reality is that sin is sin.  There are people in our region of PA that need to know Jesus and His love and purpose for them there as much as here.  

3)  Sunday morning we did church together.  We read Psalm 46 about being still and knowing He is God.  Candy pointed out that in The Message it reads, "Step out of the traffic."  As we looked out the window we could see both car traffic on the roads and people traffic all over.  Yet in the midst of all that "traffic" we together have been able to step out and commune with our God.  

4)  One of the sessions I attended at Global Access was about people with mental illness.  The speaker drew analogies from the way Las Vegas has treated people with mental illness in the past (often called bus therapy - people sent on a bus with no help at the end of the route) to how some churches interact with those with mental health issues.  I've been pondering that a lot.  I've also been thinking of the phrase "What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas."  As I think about serving people with mental illness and other disabilities I pray the church does not follow the Las Vegas model - let's engage with people even when it's difficult, let's not keep what happens in the church only for those who look and fit in - it's for those outside the doors; and lastly - let's not be anonymous, just aimlessly moving around for personal pleasure.  The days are short - time to get to know people for who they are and invite them to the Kingdom of God!

Lord willing, we will all head home tomorrow.  Please Lord Jesus, help me to remember these lessons you've taught me here. 

Reflections on Disability and Vegas Part 1

Last week, Jerry and I and two of our staff (Candy and Nancy) were joined by three of our volunteers as we traveled to southern CA for Global Access 2015.  Global Access was a gathering of 1000 people from nearly 50 different nations who have a passion for disability ministry.  How amazing to spend the week with people from all over the US and countries like Cuba, China, El Salvador, Ethiopia, Cameroon Thailand, Nepal, Serbia, Ukraine, New Zealand, and many others.

It is humbling to realize that though we think we in the US have a corner on disability ministry and it is a reasonably newer focus for ministry,  there are people in Thailand, Jordan, Israel and China quietly and faithfully serving and ministering with those who have disabilities.

It was absolutely beautiful to see people dressed in gorgeous colorful clothing from their country.  Even more beautiful was seeing people with various disabilities both as participants and speakers.  But best of all  . . .  worshipping together.  I wish I had recorded it, but it would still not do justice to hear all these voices singing in so many different languages, of and to one God.  As many said, truly a glimpse into heaven.  The last plenary session of the event included a conga line of people expressing their joy to the Lord as they danced around the auditorium!  You can see a short bit of it by clicking here.

When the conference began there were reunions with people we hadn't seen for many years, some we knew from our very early days in disability ministry; so fun to reconnect.  There was Mary Jane who was my roommate on my first trip to Ghana to deliver wheelchairs in 1994.  In Ghana she was thought to be a "witch" because of the way Cerebral Palsy had taken hold of her body.  But oh how those Ghanaians, along with each of us on the team came to love this precious lady as she shared God's work in her life.

My precious friend Mary Jane

I remember our first night in Ghana.  My luggage did not make it.  We'd been traveling for 2 days wearing the same clothes and now we were in a country not far off the equator.  I was told it would be about 3 days till my luggage arrived.  As we went to our room that night Mary Jane offered me one of her dresses.  Now look at that photo again - even 20 years ago do you think Mary Jane and I wore the same size?  Oh the laughs we shared.

Mary Jane was visiting me the night Jerry first called me at home and our relationship suddenly went from "ministry partners" to something more . . . .  How much fun it was to talk and pray with her about it.

One summer we took the adults with developmental disabilities I was working with on a trip to Colorado.  We camped, but weren't prepared for the cold at the elevations we were at.  We had to make a change.  I called Mary Jane for ideas.  Her idea?  Come to my house - I won't be home but feel free to use it.  So here we pulled a bus into her subdivision and for several nights rolled sleeping bags all over the house and stayed where it was warm an dry after enjoying the sites each day.  Would you open your home to a group of 20 plus people while you weren't home?

What joy it brought my heart to see Mary Jane this week.  I hope I get to see Mary Jane again on this earth.  If I don't, I know I'll see her in eternity - where I may even be able to wear her dress!!!

I tell you those snippets about Mary Jane because she is such an amazing woman who personifies the theme of the Global Access - Where Disabilities and Possibilities meet.  And really that meeting point is love.

The Luke 14 Banquet painting that was created during the conference.

 If you noticed the title on this post it says part 1 and also referenced Vegas.  Check back tomorrow for part 2 which will fill in those details!

What Difference Does an R Make?

NOTE:  This is something I wrote back in 2010; but I still think about the lesson almost every time we get snow. The photos are also from 2010.  For those of you reading who do not live nearby; the snow of the last two days amounted to less than a couple inches in our area.

 

Today I was out shoveling snow (which I've gotten rather good at this winter!) and my neighbor across the alley said, "We needed this snow."

Of course I bit and asked "Really, why is that?"

He replied, "It was starting to look a little dirty"

As I smiled I said, "Then we're going to need some more real soon because even this is beginning to look a little dirty after being shoveled off the alley."

Now don't get mad at me for saying we need more - I didn't really mean that and that's God's department not mine anyway. But - the conversation got me to thinking . . .

Isn't that a lot like my life? I confess my sin to my Savior and He forgives me and washes me clean yet again. But that beautiful clean landscape of my life and heart doesn't stay that way for long. Sin is always crouching at my door, and sometimes just barges right in. When I allow it to do so it dirties up again the cleansing of forgiveness.

Wow - what a powerful lesson the snow is in reminding me of how easily my life can become "dirty" with little and big sins;which are all sin; all leave a mark or some kind . . . I am so thankful for God’s forgiveness and cleansing!

Then the next thought took me to Psalm 51:7 where David implores God to cleanse him and make him "WhiteR than Snow" . . . That’s where the "R" question comes in . . . .

To me snow is about as white and as pure and as clean (early on) as anything I can imagine or have seen, yet David doesn't just say as white as snow, but whiter than snow . . . what does that or would that look like? 

 

Thank you God that You know - and that you make Your saving work of forgiveness available to me over and over and over again.  Thank you that as bright and clean and white fresh fallen snow looks; you make my heart even whiter with your forgiveness.  Have your way Lord!

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today, January 25th, my dad (Bill Morris) would have been 87.  If birthdays are celebrated in Heaven he will be celebrating for the 13th year there.  Last week while traveling I saw this sign.  Oh how I wish I could just get in the right lane of the highway and go spend a few more minutes/hours/days/weeks . . . with Dad.

If I could, what would I say?

• Thank you Dad for the way you loved me, believed in me and invested in me.  
• Thank you for building snow ramps for us as we were growing up and always making time to take us sledding (you wouldn't believe how much traffic there is now at the Scudders Falls interchange on I 95 now.  Jerry can't believe we used to sled there!
• Thank you for providing for our family through sound financial management, and the huge garden of veggies you grew each year (wish I had gotten your green thumb!), not to mention your homemade bread and homemade ice cream!
• Thank you for teaching me how to ride a bike, thanks for building us a playhouse, thanks for the times you took me fishing.
• Thank you for teaching me both how to live - with a focus centered on God and others; and how to die - you weren't afraid, you had confidence in your God and the home He had prepared for you.  Thank you for letting me care for you your last two weeks of life (even when you told me you thought I had switched to "the other side" - ha!)
• Thank you for introducing me to the world of disability, and for "doing" disability ministry before it was even a term or idea to pursue.  
• Thank you for your love of missions, and introducing us to so many missionaries, and expanding our world.  
• Thanks for getting up at 3 am to drive me and friends 8 hours to camp and then driving back home the same day; only to do it all again the next week to pick us up.
• Thank you for leaving us notebook upon notebook of the Sunday School lessons you loved to teach (the book of John was your favorite).  How sweet to get to know you and your spiritual life better through reading these.
• Thanks Dad for being a good sport, and though you knew you couldn't sing on tune to save your life, you sang in our Pioneer Girl Talent Show.
• Thanks for bearing with me when I was obstinate, manipulating, or let you down in how I responded to you.  
• Thanks for teaching Jet Cadets and all the great games you did to help us learn the Bible more   and your creative objet lessons - like swallowing flaming cotton balls!(Again, before the programs and curriculums like Awana were even thought about!).
• You'd be so proud of your grandkids and great grandkids.  Those who had the privilege to know you still talk about playing "Yankee Doodle" with you.  Your heritage is being carried on through these incredible "kids."

Dad served in the Navy; this sketch
was done of him in Japan 1944.

I know you weren't perfect Dad.  We still laugh about the times you'd ask Mom or Ginny or me where we wanted to go out to dinner and when we'd tell you where you'd say ok, and then still drive to the place you wanted to go!  We didn't always appreciate your love for cleanliness, structure and order that led us to sometimes vacuum twice a day so there was no hair from our beloved dog King around.  That part of your character also led you to get your High School GED, which was the highest degree you achieved, yet you still were an adjunct professor at Trenton State College a couple of semesters.

I could go on and on Dad, but the last lesson you taught me is the one that Jerry and I still hold close in our hearts.  It's the day you were in hospice at the hospital and rallied your strength for a family meeting.  You made it clear that you wanted the hymn, "It Is Well With My Soul" sung at your memorial service (and we did).  But what stood out was that in your very weakened state you quoted the words to all the verses and told us all, "Never forget the third verse.  People usually skip the third verse when they sing it."  And you went on to quote:
              My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought;
              My sin, not in part, but the whole
              Is nailed to the cross and I bear it no more
              Praise the Lord, praise the Lord o my soul.
To this day, Dad whenever that hymn is sung Jerry reaches for my hand, and we sing, through the tears and wait anxiously to see if the leader will include the third verse.  Thank you for being sure we understood and accepted the reality of what those words mean.

I love you Dad and I miss you (even more now than when you first went home to Heaven).   One day at the hospital Jerry asked you what you thought Heaven would be like and you (an Industrial Engineer by trade) said, "well, I imagine there has to be a procedure of some sort.  Then maybe I'll sing in the choir."  

When you took your last breath we all smiled (again through tears) saying, "Well he knows the procedure now!"  I look forward to the day you will orient me into the procedure of walking through the gates of Heaven to live forever with the God and Savior we both love! Happy Birthday Dad!

One of my favorite pictures - Mom and Dad
at our wedding rehearsal.  I love the look on Dad's
face - I think it is a mix of amazement, pride, relief
and gratitude that Jerry would take this girl on!!!