Gardening Memories and Current Weeds!

I think my Dad was in his 40's when his inner gardener broke out.  He had grown up in the city and moved out to "the country" a few years after he married Mom.  Our house had about 1/2 acre of yard; and was next door to my Grandparents home, and they also had about 1/2 an acre.  I wish I knew what caused Dad to rototill a patch of the yard and plant a small garden.  While I don't know the original cause, I know it didn't take him long to realize "Jersey 'maters are the best!"  That was a mantra he sang over and over again, especially to our friends from church who lived across the river in "Pennsyltucky" as he called it.

Each year Dad would add a few more feet onto the area he tilled and planted unit it consumed about the back third of the properties (even going a little into Grandmom's part I think!).  He grew tomatoes, beans, corn, squash, horseradish, carrots, peppers  and I don't recall what else.  He grew way more than our family could consume, and it brought him great pleasure to grow the produce to share with others.

He was so dedicated to his garden that Mom and I used to laugh that after work dad got out of the car and went out and checked the garden before he even came in to greet us!

While Dad's domain was the vegetable garden, Mom's were the flower garden.  She had a nice patch at the back of the house, and another along the side that always looked beautiful.

I don't recall Dad ever having me help him weed his garden, and perhaps I helped Mom a little bit with tidying the garden from time to time.  But I never really got the "gardening bug" from either of them.  I recall a great aunt sharing with me once that she was so happy that the latent heritage of gardening had resurfaced in Dad.  I sort of hoped that once I hit my 40's it would pop out in me too.  But since those days have come and gone . .  . I am GRATEFUL for the friends who mulch, plant my gardens and weed.  I am also thankful for those, who like Dad, grow more than they need and share with us.

Ok. but enough nostalgia.  When we got home from camp a few weeks ago I noticed that a great number of weeds had made themselves quite at home along our sidewalk, driveway and garden edges.  It was really quite embarrassing looking - one on the corner of the sidewalk was about 2 feet tall and growing!  So I contacted our friend Kait and she came by yesterday.  After about 3 solid hours of work our property looked as nice as others in our neighborhood.  I am so grateful for her help.  I think she did the most thorough job of weeding I had even seen.

So this morning I started thinking about weeds and correlating that to sin in my life.

Thursday morning was a particularly great morning for weeding.  We had a significant rain the night before, so the ground was still moist, making it "easier" to get the weeds out at the roots, but still not without Kait investing a significant amount of energy.

The bigger the weed, the deeper the roots. And when the big ones came out they left a visible hole.   Next we'll spray some "weed killer" to prevent any little leftover pieces from reappearing.

There is a "weed" in my personal life that I want out of here.  I'd like to think it c
an just be yanked out and done away with, but honestly I've let it grow so long, it's pretty well rooted.  That means it is likely going to take an investment of energy to leave the comfort of the weed and uproot it.  The ground around this weed in my heart needs to be softened, perhaps through some stormy circumstances, and ultimately by letting go of the control.

When the final pieces of this ingrained weed are gone there will be a hole left in my life - this weed has become a comfortable, though unsavory friend over the years.  That means I'll need to fill that hole with obedience, and fruits of the spirit that I want to grow and produce in such abundance that I can share with others.

Maybe, just maybe  Dad's legacy of gardening will resurface after all!

The Shadowlands

My thanks to CS Lewis, for the title, though I honestly think in his current state he is not too concerned.  He is after all, out of the shadowlands.

Years ago I received a card with a quote that I thought was attributed to Lewis, but now that I try to find it, I can't.  So from memory I believe the statement was:  "Between reality and the dream lies the shadow."

I know I live in the reality side of that statement, at least on most days.  Generally my reality is a pretty sweet place to be.  I have a wise, compassionate and fun husband, a job/ministry that allows me to make an impact on the lives of others, family who I love (and they love me!), and a God who is ALWAYS with me.  

Why then do I feel so restless??  No matter how great life is here, there is always a yearning for more that will never be met until I meet Jesus face to face in eternity.  It is not necessarily a bad thing to live in the shadowlands between this life and Heaven.  That motivates me to love and serve God and those He puts in my path.  

Yet I still stumble too often into the "what could be" realm, of dreams that may never come true, of goals that I would like to see achieved, just plain old wishing and hoping, even envying something that is not God's plan for me at least right now, or moving forward anticipating fear of something that "may be."  Spending too much time in the future (the dreams) or the dancing in the shadows around the future I find myself missing the beauty and preciousness of each moment in my reality.  When I find myself in those shadowlands it's time to join the prayer from Asaph from Psalm 73; when he found the reality around him to be unfair.  (Parenthetical thoughts and emphasis added by me!)

     Yet I (Asaph/Joan) am always with you (God); you hold me by       my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory/  Whom have I in heaven but you?  And earth has nothing I desire besides you.  My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  Those who are far from you will perish; you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.  But as for me, it is good to be near God.  I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge; I will tell of all your deeds.

Good to be near God - that's the shadowland where I want to be found; resting beneath the shadow of His mighty wings!  (Psalm 17 and Psalm 91)  

Leap Second

Today, June 30, 2015 a second is being added to the Coordinated Universal Time.  So for those of us who often lament that we wish we had a little more time in our day - after today we can breathe easier thank to this added second!

Don't believe me?  Check it out here.

What fascinates me most about this is a news story I heard earlier this year.  We all think a second is such an insignificant amount of time, yet if the leap second were added all at one time it has the potential to seriously disrupt ecommerce and email communications.  I heard that thousands of transactions and messages could be lost.  Instead the leap second is added in nano seconds throughout the day to avoid this disruption.

Fascinating!

Some of the families we are serving this week at Family Retreat had their lives change in a second when a drunk driver took to the road, or a medical decision was made in error, a heart skipped a beat, or someone diverted their eyes from a child for just a second and the "unthinkable" happened.

So here's what I am pondering . . .  if a seemingly insignificant second has the potential to disrupt life in all these ways that are considered negative, what positive difference can a second make?  Who can I smile at, say hello to, or share a blessing with in one second that will impact their day?  Who can I reach out a hand to?  Will waiting a second more to let some one pass in front of me really be a problem?

Here's to using that extra second we "gain" to bring light, hope, blessing and joy!

Don't Cheat Me Out of a Blessing!

Here I sit with a full belly, and an eve fuller spirit.  Yes, I expended a decent amount of emotional, spiritual, mental and physical energy this week.  As we’ve sometimes talked about in orientation, we want to finish a week of Family Retreat knowing that we’ve left it all on the field!  I can say with certainty that the 130 volunteers (Short Term Missionaries) did just that.

One of the things I LOVE about Family Retreat, is that while it is not really a contest of any sorts, the prevailing attitude is – no, please let me do that!  People are anxious to serve; and people of all ages (I think our volunteers ranged from 9-80!).  As one of our friends and volunteers is often heard to say, “Don’t cheat me out of a blessing!”  There were certainly many, many acts people did this week that may never be known by another or celebrated here on earth, but God knows and is preparing a crown of blessing for eternity!

The young men who pulled a wagon of a preteen young man with autism and listened to the same melodic beep bops coming from his toys day in and day out.  I missed hearing how many miles they walked this week but it was close to 50 I am certain!  Then there was the celebration of joy to learn that this young man could match melodies on the piano and do some rhythmic beats!

There was an adult man who walked hand in hand with another preteen young man all around camp and in and out of various activities.  It wasn’t like he was leading him by the hand – it was companionable friendship.  These two enjoyed being together.

The two moms, who haven’t had a baby in the family for many, many years yet upon meeting their family which included twin 1 year olds, showed so much love and care for those babies that their Momma, for the first time in a year was able to relinquish care, and allowed herself to be cared for this week!

The single Dad, whose wife checked out (usually it’s the other way) who came with 5 children.  One who has a disability about age 11; and the others 4 sweeties ages 2-8 or so.  What precious, precious bundles of life.  Those STMs poured their lives into both the kids and dad this week.  The family goes home knowing they are not alone!

I got to stand in and fill some new roles on a temporary basis this week.  I spent some hours covering the book table, some time helping prepare for the talent show and hours listening to the stories of some of the Mom’s who came, and even some of the STMs.  It is really a very precious gift when someone entrusts you with their story.  There was one point at which I thought I might be dusting off my old youth ministry degree and teaching Jr High, but thankfully someone else was able to fill that sudden change of need.

I could go on and on, but it’s time to rest – that’s what this weekend between weeks is for.  But for now- THANK YOU STMs and Program staff for a job well done.  THANK YOU FAMILIIES for entrusting your precious ones to people you just met.  And THANK YOU GOD for the privilege of serving you and for uniting us together to know that WITH GOD nothing is impossible!

Thoughts on the Eve of Family Retreat

Here I am on the eve of my 45^th week at Spruce Lake, and my 50th week of Family Retreat with Joni and Friends.  How did that happen?  At the end of this summer I will have spent a full year of my life (52 weeks) at Family Retreat!

Being the 15th year in a row of driving to  Spruce Lake Retreat Center it's a bit like coming home; yet it's not really home.  I love the beauty of this place, and all that the Spruce Lake staff do to make us feel welcome and to serve us.  They are the best! Yet home is a place to kick back and relax; and that’s not something I do much of here.  In fact, each week is so very different and full of change.

One thing that always remains the same – this is spiritual battleground.  We are fighting to share the hope of Jesus with people who live some very challenging and stressful lives.  The enemy would love people to think that disability is a ball and chain and makes life hopeless.  But really, Family Retreat shows us just the opposite!  I know amazing things happen in the spiritual realms here because it is a battle EVERY TIME (yes all 50 weeks!) to get here, and to get here without leaving a trail behind us. 

Jen and Paige, some of my crazy co workers!

Almost without fail, Jerry and I have more conflict between us the week before Family Retreat than any other time.  Take this week for example; I think Jerry and I had 4 "miscommunications," one pretty significant.  We work through them, but for a time there is tension and challenge.  It's a reminder that as we come to serve, model and encourage families affected by disability, we have to be sure our lives are in the right place with God and one another.  It is so typical for us, and I hear it from other Family Retreat directors too, that the time leading up to camp is often very challenging for our marriages.    

Even throughout the weeks here we pour out so much that we have to be mindful to not let our exhaustion feed poor communication.  I remember one year on Thursday afternoon of the first two weeks of camp Jerry and I always had a pretty major disagreement.  Finally we went to one of the therapists serving with us and said, for week 3 we need an appointment with you on Thursday morning so we can avoid this mess - HA!  By making ourselves aware of the potential we were able to catch ourselves.  

One of the other hallmarks of Family Retreat – when you have an opportunity to catch some sleep – take it!  You never know when the next chance to rest may be.  So, since I have one of those opportunities sitting in front of me (yes, a comfy bed!) I am going to sign off, get some shuteye and prepare myself to welcome our Short Term Missionaries tomorrow as together we start on Mission Possible!!!!!!

Our theme for the week.  Thankfully the beginning part of the verse reminds us that it is WITH GOD that all things are possible; especially reconciliation with Him!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things - and ALL in one 24 hour period!

Sunny days, cooler evenings
Time to just hang out with Jerry and laugh at "nothing" together
Swimming, and relaxing poolside 
Beautiful flowers
Yummy meals
Not feeling rushed
Friends - reconnecting with ones who know you well enough to walk in and say, "you have cereal in your pantry - why?  You don't like cereal!"
Friends - with whom you can have honest challenging and real conversations
Crossing items (and lots of them!) off my "to do list"
Smiling at the beauty of such a varied group of people God created!

There's nothing fancy on this list; nothing that will make me famous, or add to my bank account but certainly things that refresh and satisfy my soul.  And that, as the commercial says, is PRICELESS!

It's Been A While . . . .

So, it’s been a while.  I write so often in my heart and head, but seem to struggle with getting the time to put it to keyboard or paper.  I appreciate those of you who encourage me with your comments (mostly on Facebook or in person) to not stray too far from writing.  I am blessed and ministered to by your kind words.  They also spur me on to write. 

Since most of my readers are also friends on Facebook, you know that my recent weeks and months have been taken up with a great deal of change at the office (a move downstairs within the same building, and hiring and training a new Administrative Assistant).  It is absolutely amazing to us how difficult a move could be within the same building, at least when it comes to mail delivery.  We are the only tenant on the first floor, and we continue to use the same locked mailbox as we did when we were on the second floor.  It took multiple weeks and about five trips to the Post Office, by me, Jerry and our Landlord, and a couple trips for the postal supervisor to come see our set up to get our mail flowing again.  Oh yes, the conveniences that automation has brought to our lives!

These are just a few of my favorite people!

There have also been a lot of family connections happening.  I’ve been an airport shuttle driver for several in my sister’s family as they have traveled places near and far.  We have enjoyed (and I mean THOROUGHLY ENJOYED) visits with several of our nieces, got to meet our precious grandniece Valentine, cousins and Jerry’s family in Ohio.  How often I have wished that all my “favorite people” could live in a radius right around me – what delight that would be.  But then I realize by the time you would want to have all those dear to you gathered around you we’d end back up with this world and communities stretched throughout.  So I will cherish the time and opportunities we have to be together.

Last November I wrote about the amazing joy of reconnecting with a young woman who lived with us for a time, and from that reconnection gaining two “daughters of our heart.”  I haven’t written a lot about that  since then because the relationships we are building are so very precious, almost sacred in a way to me.  But trust me when I say that my heart is full of joy as we text, call, facebook and visit together.  I am a blessed woman to have these two young women in my life. 

A photo my Uncle recently uncovered of
my Grandmother and sister and me (I am on the left)

These weeks have also been a season of organization and taking the next steps with more of Mom’s keepsakes, photos and books.  She would often mention the bane of photos being digital because she could not pull them out and look at them anytime she wanted as she could after her film (or as she pronounced it fil-um) was developed.  Now we find ourselves on the other side of the fence wondering what do we do with the hundreds, yes even thousands of photos that are printed and in boxes and albums.  Ah, the challenges among generations doesn’t stop when life on earth does!

Thanks to those of you who voted for my submission entered in a recent writing contest.  I heard from several that the voting was not clear or easy.  I too found the same thing.  Sorry about that, I had no control in that area!  I did not make the final cut.  Earlier in the contest that possibility was sad.  I am totally at peace with it now.  I would like to improve my writing, and I may have gained some expertise in that had I won, but there are other ways to improve; one of which is just to do more.  I am working to make time to do that more regularly again.

In a funny turn of events, about the same time I knew I didn’t win the writing contest I got an email saying I was a winner of a clothing store gift certificate.  At first I thought it was a scam, but then realized I had entered a drawing when shopping online at this merchant.  It was fun to purchase a few new things that weren’t in my budget plans.  I guess the old saying is true, “you win a few, and you loose a few.”

At the risk of loosing the readers I have, I will stop rambling for this evening.  But before I close, here are a few thoughts I’m pondering and hope to write about soon, so please stay tuned! 

• ·      Building community in an age of social media and privacy laws
• ·      Realities of marriage when disability is involved
• ·      What the Bible says about “pondering”
• ·      First World Blessings
•     The addition of a Leap Second